Febuary 2013

2/1/13: February is here, hazah. Now, can anyone tell me where the sarcasm was in this comment.
2/3/13: Pulling the popcorn bag, I darken the room, turn on the T.V. Watching commercials and waiting for the movie that'll never come.
2/4/13: I come home, sleep, rise, eat, eat, eat, look outside, pet the cat, brush, pet the cat, sit, sit, sit, sit, ponder, write, fiddle,........eat.........................................................................
2/5/13: I'm ready, silent breaths, back straight, don't red up. I'm close getting close. Get the resume ready, ask for the boss, make sure time is right, time is not right. Buy small food, put away food, time is right, front door locked,............................................................., pull the door,.......pull the door, don't knock, where should I knock,..........put resume through mail slot, walk away, don't be seen, now whisper a curse on yourself.
2/6/13: Evidence of memories of old convince me to relive them. I reenact the experience with current commentary, but it feels dry and empty. I want to go back to the present life, and I don't I'm still stuck in the past.
2/7/13: I see the order in universal form. Systematic, every action a purpose, one way only, no room for error. I fear because there is only one truth and one way. A slip means I must be broken. The chaos is ravage, gentle, blunt, and expressing different directions. I feel warm, but will not let it consume me. I feel lost and home, but there are too many directions to take. I wish to hold order, I will follow no matter what burdens are given to me.
2/8/13: ................................................................yawn.....................................................................................................
2/10/13: When the first scene brings life to your hands, you stop to find the right note, you stop because you just missed the right note and look again, you stop to remember what was the right note based on the first note, you stop to measure two notes and can't identify the key, you stop because its become easy and you seek murk notes, you stop when you squish with your hands.
2/11/13: There is always the choice to leave elements of life behind to refine better elements. To refine, someone says it's hinders your true capabilities, but you have a goal. A goal to become better than before, better and be at peace of becoming better, feeling more relaxed that this is your life. Refinement doesn't bend, it strengthens. The steel shines better, and cuts through troubles with focus the body has caught up with the mind.
2/24/13: I return and no one has the decency to have fan questions? No illustration of illusion images with me anchoring around the center? No performing chants without my image in ribbon rich frames? I don't mind feeling safe, being respected of my private life, or mediate on the next writing tale when absent. Thank you to all who don't feel drama between the gaps of writing. You don't have to understand to really understand what I'm trying to imply. I really just to say hello again to all and hope you all have a laugh. To those who read in a glance, I thank you to acknowledge my existence.....or being completely confused. At this point, I would be too. Just say "hello," and I'll tell you its a rainy day.
2/25/13: That damn wind came back, bullying my windows, roughing them up. I'd rather just get a huge big pipe to suck up the wind and give me power to spoil myself................crap, I'm being boiling lunacy. Fage(fear + rage) will do that to you....................but I'm normal now, because I said it.